Make Nice

One of the hardest things for me to do is be fake. If I am happy I will obviously show it, but if I am angry or hurt I have a very difficult time hiding that as well. I guess for some this could be seen as a positive thing, it's good to be honest. But I think for all the talk that people do about being honest and blah blah blah, they really just want you to play happy because it is so much easier for others to deal with you if they do.

There is a quote floating around there that "well behaved women hardly make history"* well then I guess I am going to be one for the books. Even if it is another family member that does something dumb or disrespectful I will speak up about it and say what everyone else is feeling. But then once I do this all the attention is turned to me and I look like the mis-behaving person; the attention from the actual offender is totally taken away. As you can imagine, this is frustrating.

My sibling is dating someone that not one person in the family approves of. This person has cheated, lied and done a number of things to earn their reputation. Everyone talks about this person behind their back and I have been warned many times from my parents not to say a mean word in front of this person. So instead everyone plays nice to them, caters to them, does favors and laughs and smiles with them. I'm sorry but I just can't do that. I won't be overtly mean, but I will in no means be sweet to this person. Just watching my family be fake to them is too much for me to handle.

I wish sometimes I could just rollover and play nice. But then I think that I wouldn't be true to myself if I did, and really, no one is worth that.

*Laurel Thatcher Ulrich